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It was a peaceful quiet afternoon; I was having my coffee, enjoying my book, hearing nothing but the car’s engine roaring over the highway when realizations kicked in. I suddenly remembered why I was at that moment alone but feeling more alive.  

I got hurt for some reasons that made me joggled around too much on the emotion, made me questioned the stand of my spirit. It was terrifying but challenging, unworthy and stupid. But, quieting my mind and doing the full stop made me thought of so many beautiful things about my life. I’ve been through a lot as most people in my life would say, I’ve been through big and small mountains and I’ve made it through the most discouraging storms.

So, I listed down the things that had actually helped me cleared out the detritus in my mind. 

1. BACK TO READING (At any given chance, whenever, wherever)

I started out re-reading books that had left a big mark and the ones that gave the most remarkable notes on me. I started bringing books again and made it as an essential to my everyday commute at work. Reading again with passion and full concentration and living the moment as if I was seeing it coming to life, like the old days. It helped a lot, I must say. It helped me a lot with my patience for I don’t really have big patience towards long lines and insensitive commuters taking their time when you’re in a hurry. It helped me to never be disturbed again by choleric people waiting for their turn on the bus. I read, just read whenever, wherever, at any given chance.

2. DEACTIVATED THE OLD ONE FOR A NEW ONE.

Yes, disregarding all the tagged photos, photo albums that I had no copy at all, 900+ most of them unknown friends to me; I’ve deactivated my old facebook account and created a new one meticulously choosing the people to add. Just a snap and it hit me so well that I have to cut ties with people who no longer deserve that slot in my life. It’s alright; I don’t mind people getting all hurt for seeing my new account without them on it. Remember, we do that to others as well. I truly appreciated those who’ve sent me messages thanking me for still accepting and adding them. Not a big deal, but you’re welcome. I just realized that I do not need too much unknown faces that later would clutter my timeline, not that I care too much but honestly, it would interest me more to see the current events and the latest books of my favorite authors or at least a sensible comment on something. I prefer sensibility.

I just needed two degrees of socials in my life; the outer circle acquaintances and colleagues and the inner circle of people whom I’ve got great interest and the ones I cared so much.  Choose your spot.

3. BEING “SELF-CENTERED” FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

I was never the self-centered nor the “sharey” type did I just randomly ask people who know me well on purpose and never for an attention, about me as a person and how I’ve outgrown my old self.  Most of the answers I got were real positive cutting all the bullshits and sugarcoating. It was pretty uplifting for sometimes, we just have to be reminded of the good things when shits started to drag us down. Always cling to those who will show you the difference between a room full of people and an empty one.  

Giving yourself some time to focus on your core and just listen to what it has to say can make a big difference to your soul. For the soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to quiet the mind.

Not a long list I know, you might have expected too much because honestly I’m just starting and the healing is still taking place. I have given myself a big challenge to “quiet my mind” and to focus more on accepting the “odds”. This is my way of healing my soul and helping me to get back on track. A self recollection and the way to the “trees” the term I got from Erps.

Might work with you as well. Give it a try. 

-xoxo-

Pam A. 

Over the years, I’ve exhausted myself trying to fix every single relationship in my life, trained myself to stay connected, stay in the loop with people who have long been gone. Now, I personally find it liberating having the courage to unfollow, unfriend, unsee, unlike people no longer worthy of being in my life. 

There is no great need to keep yourself tethered to everyone in your life. Find the strength in you to let your scars heal. Respect yourself enough to cleanse your soul of impurities, of pain, and of unworthiness. And be courageous enough to know that you lose people in your life to realize how very little you mean in theirs.

— thunderpopcola